Michael Jackson’s Secret Eating Disorder

Over the years, Michael Jackson’s poor self-image and physical perfectionism has been well documented. Having undertaken several image overhauls in his lifetime to resolve his insecurities, many suspected he suffered from Body Dysmorphia Syndrome; a condition in which a person is consumed by their intense dissatisfaction with their appearance, and sort to perfect minor flaws often unnoticeable to others.

Michael Jackson was open about how insecurities were triggered by his family teasing him for features like his ‘fat nose’ and having a ‘pizza face’ as a result of teenage acne. But did these insecurities about his appearance extend to his weight and body image? And was Michael Jackson’s lifelong slender physique, the result of a secret eating disorder?

As a child, Michael Jackson’s bright eyes, round face and adorable chubby cheeks, won the hearts of thousands of young fans around the world. However, beyond the catchy tunes and synchronised dance routines, Michael Jackson has since shed light on the unhappiness he felt as a child. Entrapped, Michael was a victim of the tyranny his abusive father, Joseph Jackson, subjected him to and he felt enslaved by his family, controlled by Motown executives and pressured by the expectations of the public. For Michael’s entire early life, he was controlled in every way a human being could have been; from what he wore, to what he said, to where he went, to how he performed, to what song he sang, every moment of the day was dictated by others with often conflicting views and motivations.

In private conversations as an adult, Michael Jackson reflected on how he used food as a way to gain some kind of control over his life. Stating that while his father and brothers resorted to violence and aggression towards others, instead he internalised his emotions and took things out on himself as a form of self-harm.

In reference to his diet, his mother, Katherine Jackson stated “I’d worry about his lack of interest in food. When the family would go out for hot-fudge sundaes, he’d be the only one who wouldn’t want one. “I’m not hungry’, he’d say. Now what kid turns down a hot fudge sundae?”.

Michael Jackson also spoke about how his teenage years were a traumatising experience for him. As he was growing out of his cute little kid image, he felt under pressure to remain childlike in the eyes of the public. Typical of many adolescents suffering from anorexia, their motivation can be in part to physically stem or even reverse their development into adulthood, in fear of growing up, the loss of their childhood and to remain a child in the eyes of those around them.

In his early adulthood, Michael Jackson decided to adopt a vegetarian diet partly due to his desire for ‘a dancer’s body’, believing his movements would appear cleaner and more precise if his body was slimmer and more angular. “After Michael took Jermaine’s lead and decided to forgo meat, he became even less interested in eating then before” stated his mothe. Although a vegetarian Michael reportedly didn’t like vegetables, or chocolate and restricted his diet to such an extent he was notorious for being a very picky eater.

“I changed my diet and stopped eating beef, chicken, pork and fish, as well as certain fattening foods. I just wanted to look better, live better, and be healthier. I’m a vegetarian now and I’m so much thinner. I’ve been on a strict diet for years. I feel better than I ever have, healthier and more energetic.” Michael Jackson said in his 1988 autobiography, Moonwalk.

Although Michael Jackson stated the motive behind his change in diet was to improve himself personally and his abilities as a performer, professionals would argue that at its root anorexia is an anxiety and control disorder that perfectionists are notoriously prone to. Not so much a preoccupation with being thin, but it’s about having enough “discipline” to control your own body. Counterbalancing trauma they experience when outside circumstances completely overwhelm them.

Like many struggling with an eating disorder, Michael Jackson emphasized the health benefits of such a reduced and restrictive diet, although privately he admitted that he felt defeated by his anorexia and that he suffered with multiple health issues as a result of the illness. In a 2005 interview he said “I go through these serious food crises when I could go weeks without eating. I take stuff to keep weight on. When I get upset, I stop eating, sometimes until I’m unconscious”.

In preparation for a World tour, Michael Jackson’s doctors would insist that he go on a strict high protein diet, so that he’d be able to keep his stamina up during his energetic performances. Much like a patient suffering from an eating disorder would receive in treatment, Michael was forced to eat set meals each day which were weighed and prepared by his personal chef. His mother recounted “I hoped that after a year of eating three square meals a day, Michael had developed a permanent interest in food. But my hope was dashed when he told me, “I’ll be glad when it’s all over, so I can start eating the way I want to again. I’m tired of forcing myself to eat.”

When Michael Jackson reached his 40s, he became increasingly concerned about looking old, saying that he hated ageing and it’s the “ugliest thing in the world to him”. Michael mentioned to friends that as he was getting older, he did not want a lot of body fat but went overboard to avoid it, fearful he would get fat if he adopted a healthier diet.

While preparing for his 2009 career comeback with the ‘This Is It’ concert series, Michael Jackson appeared thinner than ever. Although Michael’s eating disorder may have not been the sole reason for his frail frame.

Nutritionist, Keith-Thomas Ayoob, said he would not be surprised if reports that Jackson had only been eating one meal a day turned out to be true — especially if the singer had been taking a number of different medications. “He may not have had an eating disorder in the sense of anorexia or binging and purging. It may be that the medications he was on made food taste funny or suppressed his appetite. So it may not have been an eating disorder in the traditional sense. As far as keeping his weight down, I’m not sure that was Michael’s intention.”

However, did Michael Jackson’s eating disorder and low body weight contribute to his sudden death by cardiac arrest?

Michael Jackson’s cardiac arrest was caused by a high dose of prescription drugs. When medications like strong pain killers, antidepressants and relaxants are taken in excess or in combination — they kill people causing respiratory and heart failure. Also, these medications spread around the body and get absorbed by fat and muscle tissue. This means that a bigger person can tolerate a higher dose of drugs then someone slimmer.

In Michael Jackson’s case his body weight was only 136 pounds and he was about 5 feet 8 inches on the eve of his death, a very slight physique for a man in his 50s. But Michael was taking the number of drugs that would be too high even for a person twice as heavy. Therefore, if he had more weight he may have not died as quickly because the fat tissue would have absorbed some of the drugs. In this respect his eating disorder and weight loss did contribute to the Michael’s sudden death.